“In loving memory of M__________”

(No, its not michael jackson)

Its an 18 year old girl who committed suicide just wednesday morning at ang mo kio.

I looked through her pictures and i spent quite a long time reading every single post on her wall.
Filled with condolences and wishes from loved ones.

She was indeed a very pretty girl.
I totally agree when they said that.

Post after post from people, some who doesn’t even know her,
made me realize and think.

A simple gesture like a smile,
can mean a whole world to someone.
A simple “hi” and “bye”,
can mean you’re a part of someone’s life,
thou it only a small bit.

Throughout our lives,
there are constantly people who love us,
although they never show or tell.

And only when its too late that tell them,
hoping he/she hears it.

Which is why,
i want to take this opportunity to tell the people i love that i love them.

Daddy,
I love you so much though i never said it.
Though sometimes i get angry at you,
i know all you did was so that i can lead a better life later when i’m older.
I will so cherish you daddy.
I love you.

Mommy,
I love you oh so much too.
I know i’ve been kind off rebellious these days.
And i’m so sorry.
Thank you for being so understanding with what i’ve been going through.
That special hug was one big moment i will always remember and love.
I love you.

My dear big sister,
You are never stingy, i can tell you that.
Thank you for always being my listening ear.
Although some of your sarcastic remarks are painful to hear, it always made me think and it was enough for me to find the solution.
I love our talking sessions where it will end up with tons of laughter. Always.
I love you.

My dear brother,
sometimes, you’re a pain in the ass.
But i can see you’ve grown into a mature young man.
And we’ve been closer ever since.
Thanks for trusting me with your problems.
You know i’m always here.
I love our brother-sister outings.
I love you.

My dear baby sister,
You’re still my baby sister thou you are already 10 years old.
I still love kissing your cheeks,
bringing you swimming,
shopping.
I want you to listen to mommy and daddy k. Don’t stubborn la baby.
Everyone manja kan you tau.
I love you.

My sweetlove,
I’m glad you came into my life once again.
If we are meant to be, we will.
And i thank god we were given a second chance.
But now, i don’t wanna lose you.
You’ve already taken a part of me and i can’t live without it.
Neither can i live without you.
Only you can love me this way.
I love you.

My dear Teh-sister,
our 11 years of friendship has been strong till now.
and i don’t want it to end.
Like you said, we lead totally different lives that we chose
but still we attract each other with our thoughts and understanding.
And that no matter what we differ in,
We accept one another for who we are.
I love you.

My dear cousin babes,
still strong after 20 years.
From being a small kental-kentalan girls to being
beautiful and mature young adults.
Your company and laughters are wonders to my life.
Thank you for all that.
I hope we’ll stay close and strong and know that we are there for each other no matter what.
I love you.

My dear friends out there,
close to me or not,
i love you guys.
Thanks for making a difference to my life even though only for a short while.

Our lives are short.
And we don’t know when we might leave.
But i don’t want to be late to tell all of you.
That i love you.

And to that girl,
RIP.

So far,
my life is wonderful!!

I miss my all my babes.
I love my family.
I sayang my bf.

Damn.
As im writing the previous line, i notice a new dot on my right wrist.
I thought it was a new tahi lalat / mole.
I was like “Shit. Why here sia”

Then i began rubbing it.

PEN INK la dei..
-.-

Any movie!!!

Take me to the cinema!!!

Now now now!!

I can’t believe i’ve been looking through the SPF job website for the past hour.
Reading through all the requirements, salary, benefits, ranks, trainings, postings etc etc for a police officer.

POLICE OFFICER.

Been discussing with my ABANG sedare aka ABANG Faiz about it.
(He hated me calling him ABANG so i purposely put it)

I kind off like the idea of being a police officer.

Hmmmmmmmmm

I miss my repeat class of Cell Biology.
The 2 weeks crash course.
Damn , was it hectic and FUN!

I became friends with the emo girl aka Oska.
(Haha..maen2 je)
I became friends with the guy who thought i was sombong at first -.-
aka Fayyadz.
I became friends with the look-like-going-yoga girl aka i-forgot-the -name.
hahaha.

Well,
we sat in rows intially but then we were moved to became a group.
And we were the group at the back of the class.
I swear to you, we were like laughing all the time.
50% of the time making fun and swearing at each other.

I don’t know why this is so random.
But i saw a link regarding nyp.
From there a class practical.
From there the cell biology class.
From there the people i met in the class.
And from the there,
the feeling of missing it came.

This is one of the memories i wish to keep.
All the best people!

Finally realizing i wanted nothing to do with my laptop, i switch it off.

Which is why you will seldom see me online.
Only recently, i decided to switch my msn to BUSY but i still leave it like that.

My facebook is seldom updated. Haha.

Anyways,
I have decided to find a full time job and earn some living.
I would like to save tons of money and get married.
Hahaha.
Nola, siao. I’m not even ready for marriage.
But i will be in 5-6 years time.
I just want to be financially safe.
Thats all.

And My Swithoney has got himself a full time job that starts tomorrow.
Therefore, i need to get myself a full time job too.

So,
anyways,
these few days was totally awesome for me!

Friday–

Met Nisa and we head off to commonwealth.
Now its her turn to rent a car. FIAT GRANDE PUANTO. (I think thats the name)
And on the way back,
we got lost. -.-

Called up my baby.
He gave goodie goodie directions and we’re finally on the expressway.
At Ang Mo Kio exit, I decided to trust my instinct and ask Nisa to exit there.
Actually, i have no idea if its right at all.
Ask her to turn left after that *This one also i agak-agak*
Macam paham nye case.
You should have seen my full confident face.
Nisa: Turn left eh?
Me: Ya. *Frown-frown abit macam paham.*
Nisa: Okae. Then after this?
Me: Turn left again.
Nisa: Okae.
Me: *In my head: Err.. Should be la..*

Sekali, betol la! Hehe.
I was like, Woah Nadrah. Pandai jugak kau.
But of course, i didn’t tell Nisa.
I was damn proud of myself k. Which i don’t know why.

Then picked Swithoney and Fad and we’re off for dinner at Jurong CC there.
I forgot what was the name of the food place but its quite popular.
Awesome day! I likeee….

Saturday—
aka Yesterday.
Met Swithoney at 4pm and he send me to my class chalet at Changi Aloha Chalet.
Met Fathima and Khairul at the Sports Center and we head to the chalet.
When we reached,
i was staring at the chalet for quite some time.
It was a huge 2 storybangalow chalet. Which looks damn freaking creepy on the outside. It looks totally haunted and i swear some murder might have occured inside the chalet. It’s like a house that came out of a haunted house movie. And i am not lying.
Its so damn near to the Old Changi Hospital.
So we chillex and ate dinner.

And by 8pm, Fathima had to leave, so i decided to leave as well.
Baby picked me up while Fathima took a cab.
We headed off to his place cause his mom was urging us to come back cause they wanted to go for an ‘adventure’.
But in the end, we watched a sad movie, ate dinner and not until 11.30pm did we left the house.
So me, Swithoney, and his 2 brothers were at the back of the lorry.

We drove pass Old Mandai Road,
Stared at an old abadoned house,
Old Changi Hospital (All the way up where there was no light at all mind you. Only the headlights of the lorry)
But we could see the hospital buildings. CREEPY.
His brother told us to look at the windows. Me? No way. Hell no.
I don’t know why but  i have the sudden urge to look at the time. So i looked at my watch and it was exactly 12 midnight. At that point of time i decided to look down and just hug my baby.
Aku takot…… Haha.

Then,
guess where we went.
Choa Chu Kang Cementary.

All i wanted to do was just faint.
Me: Now where are we heading arh? Where we?
Swithoney: There *Pointing to a signboard*
I tried to read under the dim light.

MUSLIM CEMENTARY

(My eyes wide wide already)

We drove pass the Muslim cementary, christians and Chinese. We were on the road and all i saw were graves all around. Left, Right, Back, Front. His dad really drove very slowww…

And when we left the Muslim cementary at the bend,
we swore we heard someone laughing at the back.
And that weren’t us.

Fortunately for me,
I didn’t see anything. Fiuh!

We reached his house at 3++ going 4.
What an adventure!!

I love you My Swithoney.
Switlove.

My life has been wonderful.
I’m loving it.

Starting with the most recent one.

1—
SATURDAY : 13.03.2010

This must be one of his happiest day of his lives. We went to his workshop at around 12+. Under the blazing sun we walked all the way from sembawang to yishun. We were there till 8pm which is until his bike got repaired.
He was freaking overjoyed. And so was i!
He got a new cover set which makes him hysterically happy.
And i was literally bouncing on the seat when we went home with a huge smile on my face.
I miss Balqiis.

*And Darling, i’m so sorry for being selfish just now. *

Then head back to his house. Took his new rim and seat. Went under the block and he started changing them. Aku pon sibuk2 tolong die. Tangan dah macam arang. Finished everything and i head home. Fiuh… what a satisfied day!

2—
FRIDAY : 12.03.2010

Accompanied him for his 2nd appointment at TTSH. One in the morning for his finger therapy. hahaha which was at 10am. And the 2nd at 4.20pm for his x-ray appointment. While waiting for his 2nd one, we had lunch and i bought my Charles and Keith bag!! Which cost like $59.90. -.- Wth. Its okae, not my money. Kuang Kuang Kuang. After tired of looking at TTSH, we went shopping!!

In case some of you who don’t know, we met with another accident on 18.02.2010. Which was on my 2nd last day of attachment. -.- Sway giler kan. At Upper thomson Road when he was sending me to work. A driver (who has no sense of patience and no brain) came out of the filter lane without checking and stopping which cause the car directly infront of us to jam break. Swithoney tried to brake but tak sempat so he swerve to avoid crashing the car. We again hit the kerb and flew off WITH the bike. The bike was on the grass patch with us just a few feet away from me.

Of course, i cried. My knee was bad, my elbow, my left foot just below the toes.

There was 2 Malay guys on bike who stopped to help us. They bought water and bandage for us. Swithoney called his dad and within 15mins, his dad, mom and brother arrived. We headed off to TTSH. I got to sit in a wheelchair and play around with it!! Yahooo!!! Haha.

So there we were waiting to be called. Me and him both on wheelchair side by side. His dad behind him, his mom behind me. I looked at him and he looked at me. And we both laughed. What a sight!
Settled everything, xray (lucky i’m okae),take medications, dressing of wound, payment. Then head back to his place and rest. What a day. Haiz.

And ya, his left thumb was fractured so he has to keep having appointments. -.- And he has another one in 3 months time.

The next day was my last day of work. So, with my stubborn head ahead of me, i wanted to go to my workplace to apologize and at the same time i can give my MC.

These are the best people i have ever worked with. Sham wasn’t here cause she’s still in M’sia. Annie went back home already. They are so damn nice!! I really enjoyed my attachment here.
And this was what i was planning to wear for my last day of work. And i still did wore it! Haha.

The first one is WenQi (Pharmacist) – I like talking to her. I had alot of laughter with her.
Middle is Sinthu (Pharmacist) – And my preceptor. Really nice! She is super sweet and she guided me with alot of knowledge. She calls me Nad Dear! hahaha..
Last is Jessica – But we call he jess. She totally doesn’t look her age. And i totally had fun with her. She bullied me, i bullied her back and yes, we laugh alot. Really alot. She too taught me tons of things.
Sham (Not in pic) – This one, i bully her alot. haha. She is super fun.
Damn, i miss them.

3—
WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY : 10.03.2010 – 11.03.2010

Sleepover at Ain Babe’s House!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (With Nat too!)
Awesome night!!!!
Once i get the pictures, i’ll update on this.
But just a brief one,
we had make up sessions, dressing up, karaoke-ing, shouting, laughing till we cry, ice cream and marshmellow breakfast, answering nenek’s same questions about 30 times within half and hour and lots more!!

More sleepover girlsss!!!!

*PS: Ain, gmbr-gmbr overdue seme please anta or post kat fb. Bacin kau. Including yg botanic garden nye. Itu nat pon satu dah… *

4—
SUNDAY : 28.03.2010

My Swithoney’s Birthday.
I won’t be writing what we did on this day but i’ll just show you SOME of the pics.
Hehe.

We rented a car.
From Friday till Tuesday.
Ohlala…..

This was the last day for us to be together with the car.

Good car i must say.

Anyways,
I’m super tired.
I need my sleep.
I need to pee.

So off i go!
See you next time!

My swithoney’s birthday is coming up very soon,
then,

outings with my girls!!!
(Can’t wait!)

Then,
his NS life.

:’(

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Anyways,
wanna spend as much time with him now as possible.

Lately,
he’s with me most of the time.
And i love it.
And thankfully,
all my loved ones understand this.
Awww…

Love you guys!

Really looking forward meeting up my babes!

Miss you guys so much!!

And
errrrrrrrr..
This is a redundant post.

Everywhere i read,
there is someone new in their life.

Everyone had been hurt before,
and
Everyone deserved to give happiness a second try.

And i can tell they’re in cloud 9.
Ouh la la….

And ouh yes,
I love my boy.
Thou sometimes he made me so mad i feel like plucking his leg hair one by one,
I know at the end of the day,
He knows how to put a smile on my face again.

I love  you
My Bloody Mangkuk.

I’ll always be
Your Bloody Sendok.

Haha.
Thx for the nice name ya.
Loves Loves!

He’s not perfect.
You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.
But if he can make you laugh at least once,
causes you to think twice,
and if he admits to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto him and give him the most you can.
He isn’t going to quote poetry.
He’s not thinking about you every moment,
but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.
Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give.
Don’t analyze.
Smile when he makes you happy,
yell when he makes you mad,
and miss him when he’s not there.
Love hard when there is love to be had.
Because perfect guys don’t exist,
but there’s always one guy who is perfect for you.
~Bob Marley