The long long day i had.

I woke up for work with a drag man!

I was on 2 days mc on last thursday and friday.
I had already reach SGH when suddenly i felt a headache coming up.
Then it got worse.
I suddenly felt nausea.

Cause the night before i had fever but i already at panadol.
It came back the next morning. Haiya.
Banyak punya susah lo.

Since my friend sent me to work,
he insisted i get an mc and see a doctor.
I refused initially but he damn stubborn also.

In the end i gave up.
He brought me to Bukit Batok Polyclinic.
Hah! Amek kau. Punye jauh.

My fever came back.
The doctor also told me i’m having tension headache.
Hahaha.

Paid my medications and off we go.
I tell you arh. The headache is really killing me.
I’m having it everyday and everyday i’m depending on my medications.

Hope it’ll get better soon.

AND AND AND AND

I CAN DRIVE A

CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahaha!

I have officially passed my TP!

Alhamdulillah.
Aisey bedah.
Happy giler!

And the MMs is planning to rent a family car so that all of us can go for a picnic.
-.-
Banyak-banyak picnic eh.
But i okae go je.

My friend accompanied me to make my licence.
I excited u!!! Haha.
And we had to watch this 15 mins video on road safety and it showed us horrible accidents that were caught on tape. And half most of the time, i was closing my eyes.
Goodness, you guys should see where this motocycle was caught in between a huge truck and a van.
AHHHHHHH…
I don’t know what happened la actually cause once i saw he wobbled in between, i close my eyes. hahaha.
All of it happened in Singapore. Ish ish.

After that,
met syam and fad at amk and off we went to find Lam’s workplace to eat.
We got lost.
And there was a massive terrible traffic jam at the expressway.
My butt was aching like hell.
And si syam ni can got off the bike and stretch like a cat in the middle of the highway.
-.-
We tried our luck turn here turn there which took like an hour plus when finally we found the place.
Not accessible at all! Taxi only.
Bunn and his girl was already there.
Aisey bedah! First time in my life i saw Lam masak cam professional.
Sedap plak tu. Tahniah! Haha.

Eat eat eat then closed the shop at 9+ and off we head to esplanade.
Lepak-lepak.. Chill chill..
I laugh cam nk terkencing kat seluar. Hahaha.

Then they went to catch the last train home.
Fad sent syam home and this prince-tak-menjadi suro kite skali anta die.
Mampos.
But then i wanted to pee anyway. Haha.
Dah tompang toilet,
lepak lagi kat luar rumah syam.
Then…….. jeng jeng jeng…

We go home la…
-.-
Reached home at 7++ am.

Slept like a pig. Woke up at 1pm and accompanied my bro to town to go shopping.
Ade orang tu dah dapat gaji.
Bought tops at topman. Hmmp! Dah abang-abang.
Then off he went to work.

Other than that,
I love my mummy.
So the very much.

This is my life

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! …When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

~Stacey Charter

Gj,
i gave you so many advices. Take them. Learn them. And absorb. Things may not go the way you want it to be. But thats life. You can be strong when you want to be.
Both of you are in this together. I know deep down you both love each other.
But things happen. And thats fate.
Please be strong k babe.
Love you.

Anyways,
I was stumped when one of my colleague suddenly asked me out of the blue while eating our lunch,

Shirley: Eh, you never cry one right?
Me: Huh? Never cry?
Shirley: Yala, you always so happy one.. Make joke.. Laugh-laugh. Like very very happy everyday.
Me: Haha.. Hmm.. *Pause* Got la.. When i can’t take it anymore.

Which let me to think.
Did i put up a front so brave its covering up emotions i’ve put away so deep?
Its been quite some time since i shed a tear.
And yesterday i nearly did but i stopped myself.
I Hate crying anymore.

Dear Mr MM,
I’m sorry i made you angry.
I knew the outcome but you insisted.
Put it behind.
I love the talked we had the other day.
Thank you for your honesty and courage.
Time will tell.

All of you have no right to judge what you don’t understand.
Say what you wanna say.
It doesn’t make a difference to me.
Blame me for all i care.
I know i’m not in the wrong.
Criticize me all you want.
Its  not gonna bring me down.
Talk bad about me as far as you can go.
It’ll not bring me anything.
For all i know,
This is my life.
My happiness.
I deserve to be happy.
I want to be happy.
So there you go.

Hate me? Whatever.

I’m okae.

Its already been some time since its over.
I’ve survive.
I’ve made it.
I’m stronger than i think i am.

I’m okae.

PS: Thanks to those beloved beloved ones who helped me pull through.
I love you guys till the end.
Loves.

Jangan jadi makcik super kepo

Firstly,

I really can’t stand makcik-makciks that are so freaking kepo!!!!
Arrgggg.

If thats not enough, they have to talk about the particular thing to other people and ‘help spread the word”.

Eh please la. Can mind your own business or not. Can respect people’s privacy or not.
Dorang nye pasal la nak buat ape.
Dah terang-terang tak susah kan korang pe.
Aku paling menyampah.
Don’t step nak jadi makcik caring kat sini.
Semue dah naek bingit.

Lau dah nampak,
Please buat bodoh je la.
Tak ya gi bilang report kat seme orang.
Nak ape?
Malu kan dorang?
Tak perlu sey.

Dari dulu same je.
Hiaz.

It made another history

I can’t believe it.

I had my menses after lunch.
And the pain gradually start then affecting my lower back.

I can’t even stand up straight. I had to walk like an old lady.
Went to the toilet a few times. Vomitted twice.

And Tirza was like :  “You okae not?”
Me: “Don’t think so lei. I already swallowed 4 mefenamic acid. Doesn’t work. F***”

Then i told my incharge and she told me to sit down till its better.
By 4pm i was still in pain. And they asked me to go home.
I got up with dizziness and i thought i was going to faint while otw to the mrt stn.
Damn.

I only got to a few stops when i got out at one station cause my friend offered to send me back.
Thank goodness!

I was back safe and sound.
Biting my lips cause of the pain.
Once i reach home, got a bottle of hot water and roll it on my stomach and fell asleep.

Haiz.
Damn. Damn. Damn.

You’ll hear this again in a month’s time.
But with a slightly different storyline on how it ruined that particular day.

SGH. Woohoo!

Okae!

Its been 5 weeks of attachment at SGH.
*mate steam*

First 3 weeks was at the Retail Pharmacy (Blk 4 lvl 1)
I loooove retail pharmacy!
I miss working there.
The people were awesome!

Packing of medication according to the prescriptions,
doing revision on certain medications.
Since Retail Pharmacy specialized in Urology patients,
we did revisions mostly on those medications.

And i get to do dispensing! Hehe.

Me and Tirza had a really good laugh one on incident.

My turn to dispense—
(Francis, my supervisor and Tirza was standing beside me. Observing.)

Me: Mdm *** ** ***
Patient: Ya.
Me: Can i have your ic number please?
Patient: S********
Me: Okae. Do you have any allergies?
Patient: *Shakes head and frown*
Me: Have you taken this drug before?
Patient: *Shakes head again and frown*

Me: Okae. So this is for your pain and inflammation…..BLA BLA BLA… Take 1 tablet twice daily… This is an antibiotic.. Take 2 tablets once daily.. You have to finish this course of medication.. BLA BLA BLA…

(So i was on my 4th drug when suddenly..)

Patient: *Waving at Francis*  Ta Chiang se mo arh?
Translation:- What is she saying arh?

At that point of time,
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or get angry.

I turn to Tirza,
Me: -.-

When the patient walked away, Francis and Tirza laughed at me.
Hahaha.. wth right. Ass.
Waste my saliva.

Anyways,
I had super fun in this attachment with Tirza as my partner.
Dum di dum.
Everyday confirm laugh.

One the 4th week, we had our attachment at A&E (Mon and Tue), Pharmacy Store (Wed & Thur), Hemato  and TPN lab (Friday).

And i think we were at one of the toilet at A&E department.
And they have this really cool spray thing in which you can turn on to medium or high force so the water can spray up your ass. And the switch is to your left.

So we both were in the cubicle beside each other.

And we were having this conversation–

Me: Eh sial la.. Whats this thing sia. This switch.
Tirza: Cool right. You just switch to the medium one after you pee. Then it will like spray it at your ass.
Me: My ass??
Tirza: Ya ya. You go try.

*And so i did*

Me: OMG. This is so freaking cool shit la.. hahaha..
Tirza: Ya lor.. ahhaha

*So i finish peeing and everything, i decided to ‘explore’ it*
*I stood directly infront of the toilet seat and turn on to medium to see where did the spray came from*

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA… WTF. I just did the most stupidest thing!!!!
Tirza: HAHAHHAH… I know!!
Me: What i did? *Still laughing*
Tirza: You stand up infront of the toilet seat and on the switch right?! HAHAHAHAHA..
Me: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.. How you know sia????
Tirza: Cause i did that too!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA..

So me and Tirza were like laughing our ass off.
Still laughing while i’m trying to dry my wet clothes.
haha.

So  now currently,
me and Tirza will be at the Outpatient Pharmacy at basement 1 for the first 2 weeks and level 1 2nd 2 weeks.
After that, we’ll be going to the Inpatient Pharmacy.

So far i have made plenty of friends and i do infact love SGH. hahaha.
Surprisingly.

Okae, i need to go town and get my bag.
I’m in need of it. So in need.
Tmr maybe.

Its not wrong i guess.
After all the thinking i’ve done,
I’ve made a decision.
And i’m not gonna back out from it.
I’m just gonna continue with it.
And make the most out of it.
I don’t care what people say.
I don’t care what people think anymore.
Its my life.
You have no right to judge me.
Say what you wanna say.
Like My beloved Teh-Sister said,
“If you keep thinking what other people think, you can never be happy”
Yeah, i think she got that from some website. Hhaha.
Thanks to my beloved GJ too for the talks. Syg kau.

So here i am.
A new beginning.
A new start.
A new journey.

All thebest Nadrah.

Just for you dear.

This post is dedicated to the one that once held my heart.

Thank you.
Thank you for being my bestfriend, my shoulder, my ears, my everything.

I have never regretted knowing you and letting you into my life.
Though we have gone separate ways the memories will forever be etched in my heart.
That, I promise you.

We’ve come this far and we’ve made the ultimate decision.
And I’m glad we pulled through it.

To tell you the truth,
in the beginning, I didn’t want to accept it. Yet.
I cried and cried and cried.
But somehow, looking at it through your eyes,
I saw what you saw.
I saw the future that can never be ours.

It does sadden me.
It does hurt me.
Still.

But I know,
Its for the best. For both of us.

However, I am really really thankful to God for once in my journey you cross my path of life.

You showered me with endless laughter, smiles, hugs, kisses, stories and so much more.
More than I could ever asked for.

I have truly enjoyed myself throughout the time I’m with you.
Honest.

You made me serious about my studies, knock sense into me. And I really don’t know what I would do without you if you didn’t exist in my life.

You were,
MY very own pillar of support.

You were never stingy in your love.
You were there to protect me.
To hold me tight.
And I felt so safe.

Somehow someway you have made me who I am today.
And I can never thank you enough.

Certain things may not allow us to be together but that doesn’t mean we can’t be the status from where we started off.

You’re still the one I always complain to about certain things that happen at work or anywhere.
You’re still my pillow of comfort.
You’re still the one who always manages to make me laugh my ass off anytime.
And I mean ANYTIME.

Sometimes I know I can never understand how you feel.
How you see certain things.
But I tried.
But I know I can never fully understand.
So pardon me for that.

I still miss you.
I still cry for you.
Although I tell myself tons of times there is no point crying anymore.
But somehow, my heart is stubborn.

It just needs time.
I need time.
You need time too.

But I’m glad with what we are now.
*smiles*

You’re a very strong person.
It’s inside you.
I know.
You’re a kind hearted soul, my dear.
And I love you for that.

Lastly,
a promise is a promise.
I’m always here whenever you need me. I’m just a call or a msg away.
I’ll still be your shoulder to cry on.
I’ll still be your ear for your problems.
And I never back out of my words.
I’m always here.
The day that I can’t be there for you is the day I die.

Time may heal the wound.
Time may make it better.
Its always the time right.
Haha.

Thank you for accompanying me to the doctor 2 days ago.
Thank you for all the ‘things’.  *You-know-i-know* haha.
Thank you for your endless concern.
I hope it doesn’t stop there. Haha.

Your sister is a very nice person.
I really appreciate the talk we had.
And the bag she gave. Haha.
If she was here, I would definitely give her a big hug.

The concern for people really runs in your family.

I want you to be happy.
Really I do.
I know you do too.
Haha.

I love you bestfriend.
I love you good friend.
Long live our friendship!

*PS: I really love the start-with-‘N’-End-with-Na cleanser you gave me!*

Hugs are not entitled to BGR only.

broken

Give me time to mend this broken heart of mine.

But i don’t think time is enough.

Why do i even bother.

Why do i even bother getting all excited since yesterday.

Why do i even bother dressing up abit more nicer today.

Why do i even bother.

I have never fight back so hard before
till my lips quiver and my eyes stings.
And all i can do is
nothing.

Just one of those days

Today was one of those days that you feel like you were dropped a 1000kg weight on your shoulders and you feel as thou crying would ease it away. I wanted to cry at the end of the day. But i didn’t. I hold back. I mean whats the point kan.

Morning was already so suay. I didn’t woke up from sahur. And on top of that, i woke up at 8.05 am when my work starts at 9am at SGH. Outram Park. Ass. I got up with a bang on my head. Proceed to wash up, brush teeth. Take any top i saw first. Threw my powder and blusher in my bag and out the door i went.

Flagged a taxi and i did my face in the taxi itself. Telling the taxi driver “Uncle, go faster k. Thank you”. While i was applying my blusher, my stomach feels super weird. I was experiencing car-sick. In this case,taxi-sick. It was worse than i imagine. The car-sick was stronger that i have ever felt before. I stopped what i was doing for a moment. Close my eyes. But it didn’t work. So i just had to finish putting on my blusher. Then salivation came. I said quickly to the uncle “Uncle, got plastic bag or not?” And he showed me behind the front car seat “Here, behind. Not feeling good arh?”. And all i managed was “Ya.”

Then after awhile of feeling nausea, i think my body is tired of fighting it back. And i vomitted out yesterday’s content. Wrapped it and it looked like a packet of porridge. Reached SGH just nice. And i freaking paid $32 for the taxi fare. Ass.

I got so many cuts on my fingers during work. And i didn’t even notice it until i wash my hands. And the pain, arg.

Morning msg started off wonderful. Heartwarming.
Its the end that i don’t like.
I thought the trip was gonna be awesome. But no.
Maybe its just me.
Cause i don’t know what to do.
I don’t blame anyone. No one.

Its just one of those days.

Aku tak tau ape lagi nak buat.
Aku tak tau ape kau nak.
Actually kan N,
aku rase aku tau macam mane kau rase.
Like totally know and feel.
I can totally relate to you.
Jadi bile kau sedih pasal die,
aku rase kesedihan kau.
Tapi we’ll be strong k.
Aku tak nafikan aku kecik hati. Banyak kali.
And i know you feel the same way too.
Tapi kite tak lepaskan kan?
Kenape?
Pasal sayang.
Aku paham.
Tapi minda kite slalu tanye kan.
Kenape L macam gitu?